Thursday's Child: Are you Worried?

I once had a friend who owned an online shop. She was truly gifted at her art, and created some of the most beautiful pieces of jewelry I'd ever seen. This shop was her sole source of income, and she worked like crazy to ensure its success. She networked via several social media outlets, and made quite a few online friends and customers.

She also lived in a state of constant worry. Everything she posted online on her personal page was filtered through the lens of, "if I say what I really think, I will lose business. People won't like me, and I won't have money to support myself." Even if she strongly disagreed with someone, she would keep it to herself, and the lack of authenticity began to take its toll upon her.

She would call her friends in a state of frenzy. She would cry to the point of sobbing, because she so badly wanted to support someone, but she just couldn't handle the loss of one customer, as she saw it as a sign of doom for her business. She worried that if that took place, she'd not be able to support herself or her child or her husband. She worried that she wouldn't fit in. She worried so much that it was almost impossible to talk to her at times because she was so busy with her worries.

I felt awful for her, until I realized that this was a choice she made. She worked herself into this state. And, while many of us may not take ourselves to this extreme level, we've all made a similar choice at some point.

We worry that we won't be liked. We worry that we won't be able to pay our bills or we'll lose our home or we'll lose our job or (insert your favorite worry here).

Ly De Angeles wrote about Fear as an entity versus worry (which is what a lot of us actually mislabel as fear). Fear comes from the Old English word "faer", which is related to the word "faerie" and means, "to cast enchantments". This also links to the word "faith", derived from Latin, which means "to trust".

Fear is that prickly sensation you get when something is about to go very, very wrong. Fear shows up in the fight or flight syndrome to help you decide whether to stand your ground, or flee for your life. Fear is your friend. 

De Angeles describes fear as a beautiful entity; an instinct that is there to protect you.*

Worry, however, is what most of us do regularly. And, it's all about assumption and expectation. We can't seem to live in the moment very well. We're either living in the past tense by remembering how good we once had it or we're living in the future with the nightmare scenario. 

Worry produces distress (as opposed to eustress, which is good stress) and distress does a serious number on our physical and mental health. You can literally worry yourself to death.

Will Smith's character in this clip from the movie, "After Earth." His use of the word 'fear' should be replaced with worry, but it has a bigger impact, given the way the word is used in our society today. Take a quick look:

It's really all about that story, isn't it? How are you writing yours? What story do you tell yourself when this worry comes along? It's always about something that 'might' happen, not what is happening at the moment. We keep living in the future or the past, and it's doing us no good, whatsoever.

Just for today, try practicing living in the moment. Don't worry about what's going to happen in five minutes, an hour, tomorrow, etc... just enjoy being here; right now, present in this particular moment. 

 Enjoy who you are, and not what anyone else thinks you are... just for right now. In this moment, you have all that you need and want, and there is nothing else with which you need concern yourself. 

If you can make this a practice, you may just find that you feel much happier.


*Source: Witchcraft: Theory and Practice by Ly De Angeles, pages 32-33.

1 comment:

  1. so true, its amazing how we tend to worry about things we can't control, I have finally after 40 plus years realized that I can only worry about things I can control, now I am trying to get my daughter to realize this as well, and have a little bit of a deja vu ,when I hear her complain and worry to me like I did to my mom before and would get upset with my own mom for not taking my worrying serious, I have tried to explain this to my daughter and she has gotten better.


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